Sportsman Erkel's Awesomeness noted by MSM , few others convinced

Those of you who have been paying attention have noticed the MSM continually sucking up to His Ennuineeness  and plastering over the O outrages du jour . This goes back a long way too . Remember 57 States ? ( It was a correct answer in Indonesia , 57 muslim  states ) . Or his " My muslim Religion " gaffe , or a personal favorite w  ' 10,000 Kansas Tornado Dead ' ?  The Galveston Hurricane of 1900 killed more people at 6000 than any US disaster before or since  . The only numbers approaching that loss of US lives happened at Pearl Harbor in 1941 , and NYC on September 11 , 2001 .  I suspect you will remember that one but I wonder if Erkel does .
He acts like he slept thru it .

( Never forget that day either , or just who did what to whom ) .

Erkel shows more concern over Global Warming ( 10k Deaths in Kansas ! ) than the global Dominoes Islam plays . Oh , BTW his Killer Tornado killed 12 . It was every bit the dire National Emergency that was the 2009 Flu Vaccine shortage or ' Snowmeggadon ' . ( The media loved his rip off of the far more clever Carmageddon ) . They love everything about him , probably including hosting regular Rappers at the White House . It is a Love fest , lately there , excluding , sadly , Reggie . Dunno why but there are our rumors that the ' tingle ' in Chris Mattew's leg , extended to his Tinkler too .

Yes , the above was Fotoshopped . We switched the bodies since it looked way silly the real way . That is actually Matthews on top , just as you might expect .

Sports Illustrated has named Erkel among the world's most influential Sportsmen , and between guffaaws we hoped that dribble on their chin was icing from their morning Cinnamon Roll . His primary sport was always non competitive  ' Body Surfing ' , probably w ' Tap ' a close second  .  Still we are to believe Erkel an athlete  . Remember  his Leno report on his skillz . " I Bowl like a Special Olympian " .  He did not mean Pistorious either , who by our lights , did not race on equal footing .  His Majesty's majestic scorecard included , just as you might expect , more than a few Gutter Balls . Now we are told by local Lickspittles , that he Bowls  ' like a REAL Olympian ' .( Limp ) .

To illustrate the President's supposed awesome athleticism we replay the videos of his Ceremonial ' First Pitches ' . We presume his ' overhand ' lessons continue as his tendency to throw w  both arms is evident . We had seen both before but the SI silliness deserved a reply .

The President was Guest of Honor for the annual Gridiron Dinner recently , as ' Great Sportsman ' that he is  . This surprised as I did not think he approved of ' American ' Football at all . He had doubts , you will recall , whether his son  ( Trayvon?) would play . No , w the President's affections  ( as w many members of the um , ummah ) , Pigskins would fall well behind both Basketballs and Golf Balls . Pork Rinds of course may be a different matter for SI's #44th ' Most Important ' National Sportsman . No Peace Prize or P's Prize it is true , but just as equally undeserved .

Erkel is to sports as the Amish are to US Defense Strategies . Inconsequential . Someone should explain that to his fans in ' The Party ' and that the key to the his hopeful athletic improvements will be allowing his Left handed Erkel half , to dominate his Pee Wee Herman half . 
His Pee Wee Herman half was never anywhere near as Athletic .

Melanin is suspected .