Detritus,Prophylactics, and the Mobama Show

Considering our series on Prophylaxis we are forced to mention two lion maulings today . One Californian went around protections , and entered a cage , idiotically . She died . Our other youngster  did not disdain protections  . Deep as he was in the uh , Bush he survived the attack dressed only in his uh , protection . Very few remains remained of his Paramour , presumed to have been in inferior position .
Once he left , she was of course , unprotected .

I have run down reports on Rand Paul tonite , and his filibuster  . Heard him recently tho , ranting about toilets that will not flush .
He noted that those in his own home did not . Without TMI , I have a recent similar history , where noting the impending failure of the flush caused the loss of additional TP (not her) in attempts to drown the detritus .  Sometimes as you know , that will help drag the offender away , your  proof of humanity such as it is . I think it may have been  Sheryl Crow suggesting a One square limit on TP usage  . That would never work . Full grown FOTS might object and call this Environmentalism gone mad , as indeed are the toilets that will not flush .  I have heard Canada has good ones that work w one flush and that these can be surreptitiously imported near the border . PDUS wants one , and feels one is within our basic Civil and Human Rights .

I was working on how a fix it type might make a toilet flush . A larger tank , w quick release valve would render the toilet illegally efficient so a work around must be found . PDUS believes a solution has been , and within the law  . A Gas injection system . Here is the idea . You need to accelerate that water without the assistance of gravity  .  When you flush , whitewater should result , not some burbling brook languidly moving downstream .We suggest a hose to the tank relase pipe capable of releasing about one ( additional ) cubic foot of gas . Everyone w old scuba gear lying around can build one of these w maybe a foot petal assist button and those w septic systems can go one better by recycling one's own methane production  for the gas boost .  Nature's own technology . What is not to like ? BTW guys you have dodged a bullet above when a planned piece on ahem , human produce was not written . I have several TMI stories , that while centering upon human waste , are just as funny as ' it ' is prep 'ported to be . Thank your lucky stars or the appropriate authorities .

Oh , also  in tonight's grab bag ( postage was due ) .... Some will recall that Roy Rogers stuffed and mounted his Horse , Trigger . No kidding this is true .  I had always planned to stuff Wonder Puppy Waldo , but was broke when he died . Was gonna put him on caster wheels and a leash figuring that would be a great way to meet Grrls . I wish I had stuffed him . He was the Best Friend I ever had , and he would make a more  amusing Ottoman  than , ahem , the one I have . The link to this Chron story on their Taxidermititis type is here .

Oh one more thing that terrifies PDUS , and will do the same for you . Hold your breath FOTS , we are under attack by Aunt Estrus ( I should explain this is our new nickname for FLOTUS ) . It plays off her similar appearance and demeanor to Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son .

Mobama , Fots , may become the new Oprah . The rumors sizzle that Michelle's new daytime TV show is designed to turn her into the front runner for 2016 . We are trying to copyright the name now . The MObama Show , and the Dot coms and such too . We like the way it rolls off the tongue .Investors may apply at G Mail .  Few readers here will plan their afternoons around her ' Live from the White House ' extravaganza , or compete for a Dream Date w the Marine Honor Guard of his or her Choice . No choices ' judged ' either . ( Some Marines may object to not being , ahem , asked here , but told ) .
Who can blame them ?
That ' Gangham Style ' Korean guy has signed for a regular segment of the show as the Loco-motive on her 'Seoul Train' line Dance , and Ellen has promised to appear for the uh , inaugural chugs . We all know where to find the Caboose on the Czar of that show .

For music the usual Heckle and Jekyll acts are not to be expected . Cornell West and Professor Gates may consent to rap . Erkel and Merkel may do a duet or two , we hope , in tutu in toto . Did you know she was his close friend ?  That means FOTS , she is no friend of ours . Just like Obama she probably thinks she is Papal too .

Oh , a closing item noting the objections of Van Jones to those calling the President ( self described as lazy ) the " overtly racist term , Shiftless " .  We could not find anyone else who had done so . Rush rushed to defend himself against this charge by saying he only said the synonym ' lazy ' . Not PDUS FOTS , we stand by our assertion first made in this Photo and caption . Readers will recall we withdrew our original caption of ' Does this look Gay on me ? ,because unfortunately , it did .  We stand by our shiftless assertion . His Clint Black pose here , looks like a shiftless black poser to us .

Clint or Shiftless , you decide . We have .