Steve Martin had a gag some years back where he suggested playing a trick on your children that would have years of hilarious repercussions . You have to strictly control the child's environment to get the full effect , and we presume new Father Steve will want to try this out on his own son . When you drop the kid off for his first day in school he will be proficient in Swahili , but nothing else . You just speak Swahili around the house of course , to fool him . Talk about funny . He will tell the story to his own children , also in Swahili .
We have a similar suggestion which we will get to in a second . First , did you know Erkel was on a 'Boys outing' which sounded ominous to uh , us . (Bob Newhart) . He is sans Grrls which may be his favorite way , especially when he gets to play Golf . That is what is on his agenda at Rush's old Country Club ( Owned by the traitor who put the Astros into the Little League after 50 years in the National - this is personal ) . While there he is taking $1000 / hour golf lessons from one of the famous Harmon Brothers . We Prep pose to pay for this lesson , at twice the going rate ( w the usual generous sponsorship from Preptile Industries ) if , we can set the curricullum . ( Preptile Industries , where brighter fattwattages are still available , and also prime lots aboard the Prepublic at pre public sale prices . ( O.R. they ?) ( this acknowledges we just ripped off the great Rushmore gag about wardrobe ..."these are O.R. Scrubs.....Oh , are they ?" )
The ' Power Lunge ' is what we have in mind for Erkel's new swing . This is a classic swing of my own design that makes room for the strength of 10 , and the Testosterone of 200 all focused to a moment of singularity just prior to what we think of as the Big Bang , as the whole thing blows up in your face . It may not work as well w those built like Pee Wee and his current Bromance . ( They are soo bromantic together , he and Erkel , like incestuous twins . Ex , ahem , wombmates ) .
A lifetime sabotage of Erkel's Golf Swing would be well worth the $2000 if we can persuade Coach Harmon to install say , a slight hop just prior to the downswing . Or make him finish every swing on his rear heel . If expectations are realized this should produce a slice rivaling OJ hisownself .Charles Barkley BTW , is a fine example of what Basketball Skills like Erkel's could do w a Golf swing . Rebounding and shot blocking moves on the Golf course , are exactly what Erkel should be learning today and if Mr Harmon will heed this PDUS plea , most of the Country will thank him while laughing half to death over a golfer suffering more than most . We would suffer schadenfreude , and report Glee , sadly , over his Golfing misfortunes . We know just what he would look like after adding up his scorecard too . Like the POUTUS(TM) .