Finding Nemo flushed away by an early spring , PDUS dons it's thinking cap this morning , to punder uhpun stuff . First up we wondered just how deep ' it ' would get as the MSM overinflated Nemo ( a 12 hour snowstorm ) into the Blizzard of the Century . A Billion Dollars or two in Emergency funding will be demanded for overtime pay for Snowplow operators , ( and their upcoming Union dues ) . More money will also be demanded and dedicated to Global Warming Advocacy , clearly a mandate for Nasa , ( our ' Space Agency ' now out of the spaceflight business and primarily tasked to enhancing , as you know , muslim self esteem ) . Rating their success is somewhat subjective , as it is w ' jobs saved ' . The best metric is how much higher chins are held when compared to ' infidelity ' . So far they do not seem much happier , but again that is subjective .
We take hysteria over the Weather w jaundiced aye yae yae and expect overpaid WPA staff soon to be nursing trees back to health after the Snowmaggedon ( February ) horrors . Temperatures dropped so perscipitously last fall w the harbingers of Nemo , that many trees lost 100% of their Foliage . Emergency Crews from SEIU are en route to the scene now , in hopes of encouraging ' a re- birth ' to re-establish our upstanding cellulose Citizens , the trees , this spring , in spite of Nemo's devastation . Again the metric of 'Trees saved ' was somewhat subjective . We certainly cannot fault the good intentions tho .
We find the 5 Nemo deaths to be fishy BTW , and wonder how many would have died w no storm at all . Lets say the Highways were going 70 , the Bars were hopping , and normal life was underway . We all know there would be DWI deaths , maybe a shooting or two . Think how much Highway Carnage alone was SAVED by Nemo in several states . Think too of the Armed Robberies , and Drive by Shootings ( Shotpun?) that would normally result into folks spilt into infinity , or split into infinitives , ad uh , infinitum . Those would not happen , because people could not drive . Soccer injuries will drop to historic lows . Wanda Junes will be saved from Ice Cream Trucks w her name on their bumper and think of all those FOTS that ironically , Nemo has saved from Drowning . It is true no swimming Deaths occurred at all , and PDUS believes Nemo saved those lives , by preventing swimming w his brutally Freezing temperatures which caused such foligeal devastation last Fall . Altho some may find our declaration that Nemo Saves to be over the top we believe it to be true . On the one hand he has saved countless FOTS from outdoor annihilation , while w his other , he devastated nature's bounty .
BTW , careful readers may find a bit of sarcasm between the lines above . Our reason is that all the manufactured hysteria over a storm the size of your thumb is simply the MSM beating their dramatic weather drum . Action is needed now , by their rather dimmer lights , to prevent these massive Snowstorm tragedies caused by , cough , fossil fuels . Their Praise of Erkel's steady hand on the till during the crisis , is but 24 hours away . Without his leadership here , and in the 2008 Flu vaccine shortages , this Nation would be in dire straights . Thank heaven the MSM is here to point that out .( Scarcasm off ) .