Monday, January 31, 2011

Win The Future , or WTF indeed

As advertised this is the last post until at least Midnight FOTS . 
Try your best to contain your disappointments until then  . 


One could not but notice the nebulous nature of the President's ' Win the Future ' program from his SOTU speech . His inspiration must have been Jerry Ford's memorable ' Whip inflation Now ' , which brought us WIN Buttons to help us uh Win , or something .

This 'WTF ' program  has all the focus of that ' Thrive in Tucson ' campaign retread , ( T shirts still available ) , which was supposed to mean something memorable too .If striving to thrive for change was the intended target , It missed , ( uh left of the mark as usual ) . Krauthammmer's exit line in his column on the SOTU , which I will end with  , is on American aspirations , which he asserts , are in decline , as is the country . 

Yes " Our " Sputnik moment (?) , sputtered when NASA prioritized muslim outreach efforts and GW education while eschewing actual spaceflight . 

The contrast between this SOTU w John Kennedy's quest for the moon is illustrated when the President's shining example of America's greatness is a single shingle Company , selling subsidized solar . 

Big whoop as they say . 

Never in Presidential history has a program like ' Win The Future had a more appropriate acronym .


 WTF indeed . 


Or as Krauthammer put it ....."From the moon landing to solar shingles. Is there a better example of American decline?"


Having additional material on this , I will link to the Letter to the editor that started today's kerfuffle where my comments above will be found on page 2 there . I will also link Krauthammer's piece .






Sunday, January 30, 2011

Premature Explodulation , Part III

Last time this topic came up  I had a comment deleted at the Houston Chronicle because I used the phrase ' Premature Explodulation , and the editors were able to surmise my intent to embarrass . These bombings ( which are actually timed perfectly ) , are a  sexual release of an embarrassing type ,( just like  one of marriage's most delicate difficulties ) . Both can make a mess of uh things , and a mess . The uh , rumored anger , tears , and recriminations in the bedroom probably  rival those at a Bomb Site . 


Today's postage FOTS is about a young lady texted to DEATH w spam , and it could not have happened to a nastier person .A ' Happy New Year ' Greeting set off her bomb vest , giving her I guess a Happy New Life  entertaining  those 72 Virgins males who might suffer from the above affliction . Especially  if their Virginity persists and is regenerated in some magical fashion , so as not to diminish the Novelty  .


Here is the link , and an excerpt from the article ...........




http://www.leaderpost.com/news/Text+ message+blows+suicide+bomber +accident/4172966/story.html


They finally did it. They actually went and did it: A person has literally been spammed to death.
A "Black Widow" suicide bomber planned a terrorist attack in central Moscow on NeYear's Eve but was killed when an unexpected text message set off her bomb too early, according to Russian security sources.
The unnamed woman, who is thought to be part of the same group that struck Moscow's Domodedovo airport on Monday, intended to detonate a suicide belt near Red Square on New Year's Eve in an attack that could have killed hundreds.
Security sources believe a message from her mobile phone operator wishing her a happy new year received just hours before the planned attack triggered her suicide belt, killing her at a safe house.
Islamist terrorists in Russia often use mobile phones as detonators. The bomber's handler, who is usually watching their charge, sends the bomber a text message in order to set off his or her explosive belt at the moment when it is thought they can inflict maximum casualties. Nobody has been arrested in connection with Monday's bombing, which left 35 people dead. Police are trying to identify the severed head of a male " 

Gosh I just love that last line .

It is about time we had a few of those just for the irony . That head BTW belonged to another bomber who  AP describes as Caucasian , since he came from that region and all . What they avoided saying as usual , was he was one of the Usual Suspects who all seem to belong to a certain unnamed religion . You know the one where their ' unaligned warriors ' , all align in the same direction at Sunset .


One wagers most readers will know which one I mean  .


( Hint : Remember 09 / 11 / 01 ) .

In fact ............NEVER FORGET it either .

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Bet on the Number 18 FOTS

Dunno if you guys noticed but we are quickly approaching our First Birthday here at PDUS , as we are now entering our thirteenth month . The Festivities will be modest as according to SiteMeter we are still awaiting our First Visitor ( who one hopes will be a nice person )  , and naturally our first linkage too .  


We are also not that far short of a ' Best of List ' from the second hundred essays .  I was tickled w that last list as very funny , but it was a ton of work . BTW thanks for doing your part here as faithful readers for that year , ( The faithful FOTSFUL ) ,  and as writers too . It is your  fine taste in uh Pun-ditry tho  that has allowed words like ' Twitteratae ' to gain wider usage , as one hopes for ' Groundzerostan ' and others . I remain disappointed that no one picked up the ' No Blew Dogs ' line , as some were indeed seen at the , uh , Date of the Unionizers Speech last night .

One wonders if some of those lovebirds didn't repair  to the hotel to finish off their love fest by ' coming together '. ( Or as Mark Steyn so cleverly asided , perhaps some were even on the same Paige )  .


I have been on tight schedule here at PDUS Headquarters  , otherwise known as my couch  , since about September when I noted an opportunity to fill in the following numerical Straight ..................................
It is for reasons of my own obsessive compulsion combined w a case of refrigerator alphabetizing anal retentiveness that I urge you to wager heavily upon the number 18 for this month's postage total .  

I would be doing so myself if I could lay the bet .

Oh , BTW I finally managed to take a picture of Sharia in her casual wear from around the house . She really objects to these photos as dangerous to her anonymity . I have my doubts , and think she just hates these photos because of the slight hint of a mustache that she should have dyed first , or uh , covered up in one of the other  ' cheesecake ' shots .

 This may be my favorite picture of her since there is not even the slightest hint of a uni-brow which had been a matter of considerable concern to your humble correspondent .


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Welcome to Wellstone II , or the Date of the Union Speech

After their Great Political Success Tap Dancing on the Casket of a 9 year old girl at the big Triumph  in Tucson  last week , ( Thrive w Tucson T Shirts still available ! ) the Pep Rally  / Campaign Rally Part II looms larger than uh ,  life  .

Only tonight   , Date-Nite at the SOTU speech is being kicked around for uh , Bi-Partisan , Metro Sexual types who would rather cuddle with than fight their political enemies . By mutual accord they have agreed  to ' Come Together ' . ( Both will fake it for the cameras ).

Make no mistake , those Cuddlers are RINOS , or openly D . I won't support a one of them .

This whole effort got started to CAMOUFLAGE the vast losses left of the Aisle .and those who will stand and applaud HCR lines , while insulting their ' Brothers ' from across the aisle who do not  . That Camera angle would have displayed how great the D's side SHRUNK , but thanks to the Kumbya Crew it will not

.This fancy bit of  stage managed triangulation pits R&D Establishment types , against the evil obstructionist Tea Bag Types . That BTW is why B & W Ribbons will be worn tonight , this is being portrayed as a nearly racial compromise . The Party of our black President , and the McCain voters of the RINO-right  . Liberal and Closet Liberal   alike ,  proudly holding hands together and coming together
.
The only outsiders will be the Tea Party Conservatives who are Cuddle Cautious , and w good reason .

Those seen Consorting w the Political Enemy , will soon be identified as one of them .

Fair warning Congress , cross that aisle tonight , at your electoral peril .
We have already seen how ' compromise ' works out when only Conservatives do so .

The Paris of the Mid East Sinks in De Nile

Few seem to have noticed when Hezzbollah ( which translates as  the Party of Allah )  , a Proxy Jihadi Domino Team for Iran and Syria , took a Domino off the board yesterday . Say so long FOTS , to that Paris of the Middle East , Beiruit . You can also kiss off the sizable Christian minority living there , as Sheik Nassrallah's shock troops will be marginalizing them to death in short order .

Remember Hariri's father , assassinated in 2006 for leaning West ?

Now his son has beeen emasculated , removed from power and replaced  by one who leans jihadi , as Iran , Syria , and Nassrallah would prefer . Syria occupied Lebanon in the Hostage Year , 1979 . Islam has been rearing hydra ever since in a dozen spots wishing to follow Persia to Pariah status . Lebanon now returns to the enfolding arms of the ( Muslim ) Brotherhood after a few years in decline there .
Nice work Mr President .

 What we still pay today is the price for electing Jimmy Carter .

In thirty years we will still be paying for Obama too .

I ran across a good blog post that I will link below from ' LawHawk ' , who also calls himself by the adorable knick ( like my pic ) , called LegalBgl . He offers a good history of how Lebanon got flushed down De Nile

See for yourself at ......http://lawhawk.blogspot.com/2011/01/circle-is-now-complete-hizbullah-takes.html

Monday, January 24, 2011

Because of a Caucasus Causus Belli

Off to work this am w a bit of speculation about that Moscow Airport explosion .

I suspect the usual suspects who are hoping like those weegers do w the Chinese , that their Communist ' Brethren ' will share title to an Oil rich region that the um , ummah desires . Their diplomatic position is we will stop all the violence if you will only go away . Does not sound diplomatic to me at all m but demanding of a new State , for their Caliphate .

Just like we did in NO-vember , Russia should say NO .

Hell NO .

And then bring in some ' Tanks for the Memories '.
Eventually Chechnya  might get the message that Russia takes offense at their demands , not to mention their proxy Jihadi Domino Team , that " Good American muslims " , cough , like Pete Seda help finance .

Thanks a lot enablers . Your days are numbered , and those numbers keep getting smaller .

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Believe it or Not , or Flora , not Fauna

My local paper had a story last week about a seed sprouting in a man's arm . That is rare even for the sedentary although any warm moist environment should work just like a Petri Dish by my lights . A very fat woman  for instance was reported to have fused to a Naugahyde Couch which she had not left in years .. Similarly bugs bite and burrow into us all the time , sometimes leaving larvae to feed on the wound . The only seeds that sprout tho , are left by man , whether swimming or only in the mind .

The above odd story was titled Believe it or Not ' alluding to Ripley's famous Comic Strip which once had all the popularity of a Judge Parker or Mary Worth . More even . PDUS readership ratings from boyhood put it above Steve Canyon , but beneath Rick O 'Shay . I  include that for you lucky folks scoring at home .

Mr Ripley's column reminded one of a ' Long Dead Author ' that I admire , which in turn has inspired a new heading that you will find below . I started plotting this last week when reading Ring Lardner from 1921 who had better dialog than most have since  then . Nearly certain that Dan Jenkins must have loved him , as I do now . There is another fellow , Brautigan  ,  who wrote a few show stopping sentences that I will share .

Eventually .

Today tho we talk about ' Stork ' from ' Animal House .

Did you know he wrote it ?

His real name was Douglas Kenney , and he died decades ago , falling off a cliff in Hawaii . Before then , in the early 70's , I worshiped him as writer  , and eventual editor , for the National Lampoon .

His most memorable parody brings us back to Believe it or Not . That magazine ran a Sunday Comics section
and Kenney did the Ripley piece , entitled  ' Kennney's Believe it or Not ' that was drawn exactly like the original . In it he told the story of a boy from his neighborhood  , possibly himself  , on a journey of discovery  that I will share below ........

Believe it or not  " A frog , when tied to the back of Billy's Bicycle , lived all the way to Tommy's House ,

where it died when a big rock fell on it ."


Am I alone in finding a Touch of Twain here ?

We should ask TWW .

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

........ the biggest ears of all , or Eerie huh ?


Most of you will remember this adorable little White Elephant who so resembles a certain POTUS at least along the White Elephant lines , as he is certainly ready for that sale . Also there IS something about those ears too , as both have been blessed w an abundance of them  .

In some odd way '  Necklacing ' seems legitimate to our Fruit Loop Du jour , who wants people to really ' hear ' what he is saying , so he envisions a necklace of  Eerie  Republican  Trophies to make his point .Kind of a a Jamie Gumm ,  ' can you hear me NOW ' ,  sort of cry for help . Only this guy isn't making a girl suit out of real girls like Gumm  was . He just wants people to LISTEN TO HIM , so he makes a necklace of their ears . Perfectly logical , if you are Idi Amin .

James Eric Fuller , named  Palin and Beck  as targetable for some second ammendment objections  . He furthered his rant w the  NY post .  " There would be torture and then an ear Necklace , w Michelle Bachman , and Sarah Palin's ears towards the end ... then Limbaugh , Hannity , and the biggest ears of all , Cheney's in the center " .

Well , if he was searching for the biggest ears of all there is a certain Dumb O that has a pair of size 12s  ,and is well equipped for listening to all those paranoid concerns of his about the second amendment and such .

Perhaps he should have looked in his own party .

We have a shortage of Dumb O-se in ours .

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Draining One from the Fairway Part ll

I had to repeat the above gag as it was under appreciated by my lights , for it's ambiguity . No one seemed to grasp the gagginess wrapped in all that Bloggy Goodness , which will now be illustrated below .

Every Golfer dreams of one day draining one from the Fairway .

Just not that one .

 Or probably they do dream of that ,  scheduling it for right after they drain that shot  . Beer and  Coffee after all do have to go somewhere , as do our Golfers , Male and Female ........... .

 These instructions below ,  I  include  because I put the wrong FOTO on the front page yesterday , when I was trying to explain how these two devices could work together . When used in concert they can bring  new freedoms to  Gyno Americans  who will also no longer be constrained by facilities that are ' just too icky ' .Now they will even have the Freedom to pull it out and douse Forest Fires  should Smokey Require assistance .

OK , so once more into the fray . Here is Part 1 , the UroPutter  , into which one uh , puts his uh , putter to pee . BTW this reminds of  Mrs Arnold Palmer's response to Johnny Carson's question about ' Good Luck for Tournaments ' . She replied that she kissed his Balls for Luck and he asided that should stiffen his putter or putting resolve , which as you might imagine embarrassed her a bit .
Five Hundred Thousand Dollars worth as it turned out in the Lawsuit .


Now that we have explained w photos how this receptacle will work , let's talk about that ' nozzle "  These of course , are unecessary for let's say ' manlier gals like Selma Bouvier and a certain Flotus both of which have angered significant others , by leaving the toilet seat up .Those still squatting to pee will find this liberating .

Here is the device .........

And here FOTS , are the assembly instructions

Now careful readers will note how these two items might fit together , much like the male and female ends of a plug .  That is much more fun using original equipment , and this is not recommended for recreational purposes ,  even tho when wet these devices may resemble an Elephant's Trunk , or uncircumcised  male .

Members only tho , if you catch my drift

BTW gals , those of you watching your budgets and not ready to devote $150 for an ostensible month'
s supply of the above might consider FASHIONING YOUR OWN !  That's right , unless I miss my guess and have forgotten anatomy an empty toilet paper roll could be used to the exact same purpose !

I suspect a Manilla envelope could also be recycled for this use w a few creative folds , and then flushed away with none the wiser , while  women  everywhere become ,  uh , manlier .

No doubt all our regular readers will want to try one on for size tonight  .

Hopefully they will share their results w anxious readers .

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Pee like a Man w Urifemme and other helpful PPProducts

Faithful readers will remember that having to rise early and drain a certain Anaconda as I do ,  made  Peeing  a popular Postage topic around here . I offer the proof below

I just about wore those  gags out , along w this keyboard .
That dedication to topic ,  I am proud to say , made one a considerably more deserving contender for that Peas Prize , than the uh , Won . All that tho ,  is ancient history from the Teleprompter Hey- Hay Day , and just uh , heh , Prep-aratory to today's remarks .

Those begin now when I note a certain device linked in a recent article on female soldiers . I will leave the linkage below w some of our other favorite products like the EZ Cracker Unit ( $19.95 + Shipping and Handling ) for those frustrated opening Chicken's eggs . Uneducated Crackers should follow the link in the original post . That  will also add the Perfect for Pandering ' Perfect Brownie Pan ads for the amusement of those who missed it , or for those who would relish a return visit . I know once I start watching that Ez -Cracker Commercial , I cannot stop . It is simply a marvel of  Western Civilization that deserves  and demands export to underdeveloped third world Countries , where it could greatly simplify subsistence existence .

Today's new product FOTS  , is the Urifemme . This wonder of Origami  will allow Gyno-Americans to feel like a Real Man , and Pee standing Up ! Projected low Daily Cost under $5 , for those who don't tinkle much   will be much cheaper for the Army than developing that Tracked Porta Potty Unit for front-line troops .

Now as fascinating as this new technology is , it can be combined w other new products to give women all the freedom to offend typically hogged by the male of the species . The male golfer for instance has for several years now had true Port a Potty uh , portability , w a Golf Club called the Uroputter . This comes w an oversize  Putter Handle , and attached large Privacy Towel so that a Golfer ( Now M or F ! ) could drain that morning coffee from the fairway , much as he hopes to do w that next shot .

I am sure you are as excited by these new products as I am , and I urge you to visit all the linked sites where you can start stocking up these stocking stuffers for next Christmas !

Even our Teleprompter would uh Stand up for these products  .
Operators are  uh , standing by , and quantities are limited so dawdling in this current crisis is not advised .


http://buyurifemme.com/                                                                                                                                  
http://www.preptile.com/search?q=ezcracker
http://www.ezcracker.com/Default.aspx

http://www.prankplace.com/product.aspx?d=Golfers-Gags.URO-CLUB&p=20960&c=58

A Stained Glass Voice or ,hunting Unicorns in the Bible

Valued Commenteer 1st Class , of the  101st  Fighting Keyboardists of the Phyjhamadeen , Susan  , got me going on today's topic  w a uh , comment  on Piety on the uh , Reservation  ( one had reservations ) , during that Celebration  ,  ( of " life " ) ,aka the  Tucson Thrive Fest .

Yep striving and thriving while dancing on the corpse of a darling  9 year old . Tee Shirts are still available .
BTW Rush mentioned today the whole Thrive thing was also trotted out for the D Team in 2008 , and re-manufactured for Tucson consumption . It WAS campaign related after all , just as suspected .

Susan's comment on Sitting Bull Poo opening that Celebration noted it's outreach to religious diversity ,  It did contain the Buddesque ' let us bless ' line that could have come from MV Smith himself  , and the Eagle Feathers were an outreach to the Animist ( altho no mention was made of the Bear Gods )  . Additionally  that line about ' centering and inner healing had a new age touchy - feely tinge to it  But little if any of the Religion , felt very religious , in the WASPY sense at all  , except for one part .

I speak of the man w the voice from above , that phony trembling Stained Glass Voice so often heard on Televised Sunday Services . You have heard it before , reading the 23 Psalm perhaps ...... ' and yea tho I walk through the valley of Death ' ......  ( it's a gorgeous piece , even for a Heathen ) , but it's the voice that means to impress w all the Oratorical Glory of an uh , Obama .  He himself sounded the black preacher yesterday by pounding that ,  ' and then she OPENED HER EYES ' line four times to increasing applause sounding as practiced as Reverend'  all wrong ' Wright himself .

Just once I want to hear that Sunday Preacher warble from the 21 st Psalm instead .....' and yea , ye have heard me from the Horns of Unicorns  ' but it will never happen . Yes FOTS , it is true , Unicorns are in the Bible , seven times I think , and easily googled . They are a bit of an embarrassment to literalists I am sure .
One has heard they exist , Poot Skittles and Fart Rainbows , but little archeological evidence supports their line except that dubious biological connection to a Narwhal's Horn ( a specialized tooth ) .

So you might see above where some Religious doubters  like me got their doubts . Or as my Hero Mark Twain once put it ' It is not the parts of the Bible I do not understand that concern me .'
' It is the parts that I do '

I feel the same about that  " Memorial Service " .
I understood it wasn't about the victims at all .

It was all about the One .

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Prep Piddles on Puddles , or putting the Pun back in Punditry

My alternate title today , was the actual name plastered onto this event ......

' Together we thrive , Tucson and America ' . ( Tee Shirts available ) .

 This struck me as particularly vapid as were his remarkably insipid comments such as .........

" If there are Rain Puddles  in Heaven , Christina is Jumping in them today "

or .... " and then  Gabby opened her eyes " .........as if Dr Obama had brought that miracle to the public .That comment  BTW , brought a huge cheer from those gathered to memorialize the Dead  . Consequently it was repeated , even louder , to louder cheers  . It was indeed ,as described , a pep rally .

Presidential sap runs deep enough apparently that  schmaltzy lines like  ' Puddles in Heaven  ' can be delivered without gagging or using that  smirk we all recall from his ' lipstick on a pig '  denials .

Do I think the President Political enough to start a campaign at a Memorial Service for a nine year old  ?

You Betcha

I also think his Grandmother's death was  STAGE MANAGED and CHOREOGRAPHED  , for maximum sympathy potential , and would not be at all surprised if she had been Comatose for a year , and kept  ' on ice ' for the occasion . The timing was after all , very convenient indeed . As if scripted by her own personal ' Death Panel ' or something .

Can I prove it ?  Of course not . I just would not put either past him ,as he is the ultimate opportunist .

All the finger pointing and point scoring  is beside the point and is futile , because we can't know what caused this ' , was the way Chris Wallace characterized the Presidential spin , w him adding .....
" The lack of civility did not cause this tragedy , but only a more civil and honest discourse can help us live up to our challenges as a Nation ."

Allow me to translate : Let's ' Move on Dot Org ' from D -culpability in slathering  blame on the right , because it has become apparent that Rush and Sarah had possibly less to do w this than we all supposed .

Yes  , just as Obama stated  it is ... " Time to talk to each other in a way that heals instead of a way that wounds '" . He sees this as essential to the Nation and times it well as the left has done just that to the Right  all week , while now hoping that fingers might be pointed elsewhere  . So as I understand it the ' Fair ' thing to do here , is allow the left to Bitch slap the Right w false accusations and then declare healing must come before recrimination .  Then hide behind the body of a nine year old girl so no one will call you on it ..

Only like on Perry Mason , the Judge will advise the Jury to disregard the statements  .

Fat chance eh ?

I really find it hard to believe Rahm Emanuel did not plan this entire presentation , because this pep rally had his finger prints all over it , and it reminded very much of the regretable Wellstone  " Memorial  "  .

I am sure you remember that Circus , but probably not Wellstone himself , because really that wasn't about him , but about the needs of ' the Party ' .

Just like this " Memorial Service " was .

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Welcome to Wellstone II , or Meet the New Boss

One was over at Teleprompter's earlier speculating on the script for tonight' Presidential Prime Timer .

The Worst should be expected , ( as PT asides he has done since 1983 ) , ( sorry that was inside joke aimed at someone not reading here ) . But a nod being as good as a wink to a blind horse ..........

What I expect for tonight is a test drive for the ' New and Improved ' Obama , as the first of many Re-Brandings   are tried on for size by uh , D-machine . There will be Outreach to his opponents , or at least  Prayers for their considerations as Understanding is sought , for how America arrived at this perilous moment in her History .

It's him looking Presidential again as his ( scroll down ) ' flip flop foto ' showed him doing last week .  Only tonite  he will dress better while ' flip - flopping  ' in '  Sunday Best ' only worn twice by my count ,  during his tenure . ( Which incidentally should be D- Nied , or put ( hence today's new Tags ) in , ahem  , D- Nile .

No what I expect tonite is a Brand New Candidate , with the same old agenda .

Be sure not to watch , as I am considering  PDUS  Reportage as a Public Service to my Readers  , ( who as ever display extraordinary good taste in their reading material , and are beloved ) .

I make no promises though , as a there is a big sale at HSN and a Basketball Game may  also be simulcast .


One could hardly resist either one when compared w '  the One '.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

and the starter went .....crick

I have been fighting a faulty electrical connection in  my Japanese car all week . I had forgotten just how angst inspiring those can be . This brush w reality reminded me of my first new car , and inspired today's postage , such as it is . 

Costing only  $ 2001 , I have mentioned that mistake of an investment before and my reasons for calling my 1970 Renault R-10 , the uh aarrrggghhh 10 ( in view of the Piracy involved ) . The charging system you see , never charged . It failed multiple times under warranty , and I suspect all they did was charge the battery , as it was back in the shop shortly thereafter . This inspired excess stomach acid to say the least , and inspired installation of a permanent wall- plugged  charging system . Not that it did not have good points . The car  was very comfy , got great mileage (35 H ) ,and was English Racing Green . Other than that , eh , not many .

Those multiple starter failures this weekend took me back to the 70's and the sheer terror of knowing you may purchase towing at any moment . I had one failure yesterday in a $6 / hour  parking garage while on the third level . That would be one tough tow to home (heh ) . Fortunately flailing away at my battery terminals w a pair of vice grips got me mobile , instead of that expense . 

That Renault at least was light and easy to push start , even by myself . It also , no kidding , had a Hand- Crank to start the Motor w like a Model T ( and an 8 track like an Edsel  )  . Never completing that Charles Atlas Course I was only able to start it that way once , and it nearly broke my arm . 

No such equipment on my Toyo product , which is very heavy at 3500 pounds , and an automatic impossible to push start , even if one could push it . I am reminded of a time when I pushed the Renault around my block attempting to start it only to discover that the water pump exploded while loaned out , and was attempting to use the fan blades to gnaw thru my radiator . That made it harder to push than normal , and I was one whipped puppy when I finally got the car home ....hours later .

It really is great exercise taking your car for a run . Works off way more calories than running a dog would .

I ' fixed ' that faulty Terminal Connection several times after it first failed . Each time I was convinced it was licked , but remained as nervous as a cat at the next attempt having been down that road before . The first few attempts after the third repair were the worst . I took the car to the Golf Course and started to worry about it well before I finished , probably on 14 .  Thankfully it started . Same thing  happened at a New Year's  Party , where it did not . I was mortified and spent  an hour under the car searching for the last bolt preventing  my escape from embarrassment . I finally got a ride home from a nice couple , along w a New Year's worth of angst to draw upon in need . 

 The maddening part here is that the battery is new and strong which turns the motor easily , until the dashboard goes black................ and the starter goes crick .

BTW , my stomach acid declines w every successful start , and after 15 in a row , I have almost quit worrying about that starter at all .

Almost .  

Friday, January 7, 2011

You may already be a Weiner , or a Hollow Weenie

Congressman Anthony Weiner ( D ) NY , was on Hannity tonite beginning , I am sorry to report , a regular gig . He and Michelle Bachman will be doing the point counter point act made famous by Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd  on Saturday Nite Live . That parody was based  , of course , on the original James Kilpatrick  only Shana Alexander has been uh , resurrected , unfortunately , as a Weiner .

This did make him a perfect fit for a certain Tag attached below . You would concur  especially if you saw him in tonite's high whine so reminiscent of a modestly boyish Rahm Emanuel  . I say modestly boyish because one could always see his feminine side too , especially in that ooh  la  la leotard photo from his ' Dancing Days ' .

BTW recent readers may not get the headline . It refers to an earlier post describing a Season's Eatings Greeting Card , not from Hallmark , but Hormel  which came rolled up INSIDE a Hot Dog . It said ' Happy Hollow Weenie ' . Careful readers , ( not surcame by exhaustion ) ,  might deduce the Holiday celebrated .

I have Faith that all the regulars will do so .

The Reason I put it there tho , is I wished to refer to Congressman Weiner as a Hollow Weenie . Those who have seen and heard his Nadleresque Shtick , would agree that he qualifies .

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Bu Bu Bye Bye Baghdad Bob

Personal favorite of many of the Team Teleprompter types , like your not so humble corespondent  , will miss the obnoxious arrogance of Baghdad Bob ' Robert ' Gibbs . That is because his smarmy snarky arrogance was such a marked contrast to Gentleman Tony Snow who Honored the office of Press Secretary .

Few could forget Gibb's urbane wit , as displayed in that Presidential ' wee wee ' joke , asiding  on the President 's  comment on those all ' Wee Weed Up ' over his Birth Certificate . Historical moment tho that was it , lacked the oratorical splendor of a Churchill , a Reagan , or even Lt Colonel Adam West . Still we are informed that like the President's standard of excellence ,  that intellegence held by Gibbs  or by academicians Skip Gates and Cornell West was superior to the standards of  us mere mortal dim bulbs .

Professor Gates established his brilliance in recognizing 2LiveCrew as the ' cultural equivalent ' to Shakespeare . This according to Salon's Michael Kinsley ( remember him ? ) , helped to establish him as perhaps one of  the most  respected black minds in the country  . ( Yea sure ) . Additionally by now most have been , ahem , surcame , by the brilliance of Rappin Princeton PHD Cornel West ,  ( prominent member of the Democratic Socialists of America , no kidding  ) , who finds Obama a sell out Conservative ( of a commie ) , and as  such no friend to the poor black man .

If any readers here are currently funding an ' Ivy ' education for their progeny they might consider the true cost .
First the actual Cash of for Princeton at about 51k a year , and Harvard at 59k  is considerable . Then there is the additional cost of filling their heads w the babble of these ' intelligentsia '

Sometimes one has to question just how valuable their assistance really is .

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

That Big Bro - Motion

I passed  a black guy on a Motorcycle today and had to do a double take on his vanity plate .,

It said Bro - Mo .

Now normally the State really watches those vanity plates for
' insinuendo ' . They must have missed this one which unless I miss my guess , celebrates Black Homosexuality , and not some affinity for that seltzer . . Maybe one of the Bros got it approved for him as they do seem to stick together . Find for instance , a black person who did not vote for Obama , or think that OJ was innocent . It is a Solidarity thing , that I would not understand , as this is not the type favored at the Gdansk Shipyards by Lech Walesa .  No , it is a
' Black thang ' , that I do not understand , and never will  .

Remember that scene in MASH with them operating in Japan as ' The Pro's from Dover ' ? The gag was golf related as a Golf Bag was being toted for use after the necessary big wig's surgery . This joke was re-worked in our local Golf group , as Tiger Woods got popular , and inspired masses of black golfers never before near a golf course . That left most of them a bit short on etiquette and the other niceties of the game . Putters got thrown  , cursing was heard , and those were from the white guys missing putts because of  the Box  Booming  Rap from their  Golf Cart .
 Trash talk while an opponent putts or drives is never welcomed  in polite games  , but was fairly common among that group .Consequently , the ' unmannered '  were derisively referred to as ' the Bros from Dover ', and unkind comments refering to dressing up , but not taking out , were made . They were mostly thought of as  out of Towners , who failing to grasp courtesy , were unwelcome in our group . It was in no way  racist , as experienced black golfers regularly play in our group . Those wishing to emulate Tiger tho  , coming straight from purchasing new clubs , should practice with them before presuming some innate athletic ability to actually play golf , where  they  will clog up the course for those who do .

BTW I have played behind several NBA stars who would be hard pressed to hit the ground w their own urine much less a golf ball  . Melanin concentrations do not seem to assist their golfing skills in any way .

Imagine if you will that Hillary had won the D nomination ( or denomination if you will ) and that Obama was her VP .In that scenario I can imagine him as'  VP in charge of Sitting by the Door ', as mentioned in that earlier post .From there his credentials would be harmlessly burnished as he awaited his turn for REAL power.

That FOTS is how it should have been  , and was etched  to be before that Big Bro Motion  .

What a pity that it never happened  .

Setting ' The Date ' at 9 / 11 / 11 for the Great Unveiling

It has come to my attention that Sharia has ' set the date ' rather ominously . I am not certain just what is planned for that date , but suspect it may be that great un-veiling , as is honeymoon traditional . I myself have popped no question , and have no intention of doing so , as I am spending a bit of time w new friend Olga , who just like First GF Elin W , is a Swedish Blonde . ( BTW Girlfriend Susan , talk to the hand Girl , I can call a GF , GF anytime I want , even if it does alienate black women voters of Obama's  ).

Anyway I suspect more explosive developments on the home front as Sharia is all elbows at times and is extremely possessive of me , with no right to be that way . This year I dread 9 -11 more than most , and I usually dread it quite a bit

Oh , there are couple photos I wanted to post and here looks like a good place .  They will  educate readers who have never heard of Shari Lewis and Lambchop , her ' sock puppet ' of a ventriloquist's Dummy ..

You Tube has videos of her classic comedy bits , which I recommend .

The other planned photo came from an email about the Fighting Festives of the 69th or actually the ' Sodomites ' . Their emblem will not download tho so I will substute this image from Drudge , of Erkel trying  look Presidential  , but resembling a Dork instead  .

Both are posted beneath this to prevent HTML nightmare of shrunken script .



BRB , w more  overdue postage .