Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Sub Penis subpeonar folds up tents faster than Superman folds sox on Laundry Day

Her Mayornaise Anise Parker / Porker is in the news today withdrawing subpoenas for Sermons against  her Equal Rights Ordinance for the Lighter Loafered and Confused . They have equal rights already of course as we all do in civil ( non sharial ) societies ,  just not the right to the wrong restroom . Her non apology withdrawal insulted and shows real disdain for the voice of the people , and the First Amendment . She is perfect for the Obama administration .
The space above was intended to contain unflattering photography of a rear side view of Ms Mayo .  Instead I substitute infamous  dog , a
' receiver '  Kenny Burrough from the Houston Oilers . ( That was a pun on Retriever , BTW ) . Sadly w those hands of concrete he was more likely to bite at the ball than catch it which he almost never did .
( I held Season Tickets and a Grudge ) .
I passed a woman from behind today that I thought had to be Mayor Parker even tho the hair was all wrong . Nearly slammed on my brakes to take a photo as this was an ass of Walmartian Prep-portions .
Wydetteier  even , as this was one wide ass ( trust the wise ass ) ,

I did not stop for the photo as that ass's owner could have recognized her leotard stripe ( of a width normally seen only in awnings ) , and sued my ass  for invading her privacy . Its just that she looked so much like the Mayo . From behind . Elephantine . Dumboesque 
Another young lady of some mass was seen in an office building today . I thought better of asking if she got her costume at Wal Mart who is apologizing to a uh large part of their base for advertising a
'Fat Girl Costusme' .

PDUS thinks of Halloween ( All Halllows Eve or All Saints Day ) as the kickoff to the Holiday Season . We are hoping for Trick or Treaters here and will be in costumes . Sharia's Sexy Nurse costume looks um ' Nice ' .
I am not thrilled w my Great Pumpkin costume . Many of the Pumpkins had little moles on them giving the costume the appearance of real skin . Oh , and the Costume did come w a cucumber squash , but it was too small .
We found a few more to share ....
We loved this Doggy Marilyn Monroe
and the current Ewokening ........
or Ewookennnage ..... ( regular readers will recall Ewoks and Wookies are unrelated species as we discovered at the wonderfully named
' Wookipedia ' ) . 

Michelle is going as Angela Davis ,,,,

...and Barack of all people is gonna be a sexy Nurse too !
A male nurse we think but we are not sure and neither is he .

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Lets hope they Frenched

Most of you regulars will recognize the President & GF above , the Bergdahl Momma . Here they are holding hands while her husband walks into a door .

Well now it looks like she has competition from an Ebola patient the President was hugging and kissing last night to show our National affection during her heroic struggle . We bet next he is hugging that NYC Ebola Doc from the Columbia Mailman School of Public Health  He is a big believer in hugs w his own patients and staff and has been spreading his love all over the city as the sick nurse does all over the Preezie .
We hope she Frenched him .

BTW we had some doubt about that Medical School and have discovered a suspect staff .
You may recognize Nurse Ratchet here from that Chief Broom Movie .One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
Ebowling like Special Olympians , that's Obamacare .
This Ebowler  is supposedly a real whiz kid . Hugging his Ebola patients and staff makes me think maybe the Mailman School of Public Health was a small business belonging to his Postal Carrier . The next hugged should re-read his Hippocratic oath to ' first , do no harm ' . Tuesday he takes the subway to go Ebowling and then running a mild fever he goes running in NYC . He may have spread this ONE PARTICAL contagion everywhere , ( proving that the brilliant are as stupid as us lug nuts sometimes ) . We always did think that about President Erkel . Our Ennuinee . What would we do without him , except , like you know , better .

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Truth Outs w 34 MILLION Amnesty Sets !

We never for one minute believed the figure from the 2000 Census telling us we had 11 Million illegal immigrants . Maybe from Houston it just seemed like more , as a THIRD of our population is illegal aliens . They simply were not noticeably here 50 years back , except at the Greyhound station .  You could spot em from the orange shoes which were not available locally . PDUS  bets on a Million illegals just in Harris County . We have bitched here before about $200 M in illegal birth costs  , not counting the education and welfare averaging thousands a year for each one . Problem is this isn't just a local problem . Its National and the first 60,000 disease ridden  DACA aspirants are a tiny percentage of those coming . Now the government admits another surge is pending , w more kiddos requiring more government lawyers to prevent their deportations .
Tell me again how a 1950 Nation of 150 M having 2 kids a couple doubled to 300+ . If you tell it isn't mostly illegal aliens I will not believe you , or the Government either . We did not believe , as the Government told us , that illegals quit coming when they reached 11M , ( knowing apparently that more would anger up host & hostess alike  ) . For decades Ice and Customs told us that 100,000 a month 'slipped thru the cracks '  . Then supposedly they just quit coming .  Bullshit . There are 34 MILLION of them and we have known for years .
The White House and the SSA are crowing about recently finding payment fraud involving deported Nazis . They apparently stole Millions . The Chronicle has printed up the  AP story . While one penny is too many , SS + Disability fraud is not just for the SS .
Wawful Pun ommited here 
We have plenty of home grown SS fraud too w 3 guys just convicted of stealing $158 M in SS funds through a local hospital ( in the ahem SJL district ) .  For years these thieves pretended to deliver  services like counseling which actually consisted of watching TV when and if their presence was required at all .The State Supervisor of HHS did a surprise inspection last month and closed the program on the spot , while forbidding any right of appeal to his decision . No Medical Services were being delivered , but lots of them were being billed to the taxpayers  ( and had been since about 2005 ) . Just as you might expect Sheila Jackson Lee was a big supporter of Riverside General . It's a ' minority ' hospital w years of scandal on its resume  . Dependent as they were on government money they struggled to make payroll for decades . The Patients ' supposedly ' never knew these thieves claimed treatments billed to the SSA , as they never owed a dime . It was fo de chirruns in the drug addicted community and the efficacy of their watching the afternoon soap operas for government money was never questioned .

These outrageous numbers above are tiny pin pricks when you compare pending costs  of the Obama Amnesty . The administration is printing up to 34 MILLION Green cards and work permits probably so each illegal can have three .

When we start paying THEIR Social Security , ' it ' will hit the fan .
 The materials sought by the agency for the 34 M ID cards are  "100% polycarbonate solid body card stock with Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) and holographic images embedded within the card construction substrate layers, card design service, and storage." That FOTS , is a National ID card as is every Mastercard . The Government already uses their info at NSA  and should be using more . Every single smart phone can read a finger print today , and would link Visa and Visas too as we laid out in an ancient   column  . It would also link to one and only one Social Security number .

One last thing FOTS , before I close this up .

It is thirteen days until the midterms .

They might be epic . Should be .
Porcinetta Marie Landreau  , Obama supporter 
 Let's not let something like this happen again .

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Bad Hijab , an immodest Preposal

We swiped this from AFP and Yahoo about  women being attacked w acid for dressing immodestly . We  would go them one better and request the real thing . More on that in a minute . First the money quotes from the article  ( heavily edited for brevity).........
Tehran (AFP) - Acid on women in the historic Iranian city of Isfahan has raised fears and prompted rumors that the victims were targeted for not being properly veiled . Police declined to comment on a motive but said four acid attacks had been reported in Isfahan, 450 kilometers (280 miles) south of Tehran. Social networks said that there had been up to 13 acid attacks against women drivers who were "badly veiled" with accompanying warnings against open car windows. Attacks have risen in recent years in Pakistan, Afghanistan and India, with the abusers claiming they punished women for "sullying" their family "honor" by committing "indecent" behavior.  Under Islamic law in force in Iran since the 1979 revolution, women must wear loose clothing, known as hijab, that covers the head and neck. Recent years, however, have seen many wear a thin veil that hardly covers the hair and tight clothing or coats reaching mid-thigh -- an ensemble often denounced by conservatives as "bad hijab" -- instead of a traditional chador that covers the whole body. "
As usual NOW will object later maybe , w a vicious hashtag .
We mentioned above that we would return to immodesty and our reply to theocrats demanding that ubiquitous Ninja wear 
( marking we note , totalitarian territories or as er Erdogan would call them muslim lands )
While a Teenager I engaged in some drunken arguments w friends ( Hey Bubba ) where we tested our own limits of honesty and candor . This was done as a party game in order to encourage more of the same . I would like to think I made my point about candor by walking in naked once , making statement that I had nothing at all to hide . 

Now I have never been a nudist , and am usually modest . Not to female Mid Eastern standards of course , where a bit of ankle might earn a whuppin for the temptress displaying too much from under that new red party dress .
PDUS suggests organized Iranian immodesty on a vast scale that could earn praise from not only interested spectators but also international Human Rights advocates . Name a day where  no headgear is worn at all , or since hemlines change w the season in the West , we think the ultra short is overdue and panties , unecessary .  ( A good time will be had by all except many Muttawa ( religious policeman ) who we expect will fall over and die  .  Hard to imagine a better conclusion , and the women could retain modest anonymity in Ninja headgear if they must , while feeling at long last a hint of breeze in their sails . 
They ALL cannot be so clueless as to why their fashions intimidate rather than flatter .  Look for instance at these Halloween costumes that Sharia helped make for her cousin Millicent's kids .  She said they were Goats but I think she meant Ghosts after they shaeed themselves in premature explodulations seeking martydom . Kids , they blow up so fast these days . Still I am not so sure their costumes are appropriate for the Mall . Or Sharia's either . Both are just a little too scary . I think FOTS , that that is the point .

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Highlight of my whole year , also the Autobiography continued , or I coulda had a V8

I sold my old junker of a motorcycle to a salvage yard a few years ago . It just felt dangerous .  Sure was fun for a while but the starter broke meaning I had to take off running and jump on . From there you put it in second and let out the clutch which works like a brake while turning over the engine . Give it a little gas and your outa there . Works best on downhills . Dealing w that was bad enough but it had other problems and every time I would put it in the shop it was so long Bike for 6 months .The last straw was the oil leak at the rear seal .
The engine of course is forward of the rear wheel on a bike so that leaked oil went straight to my stability in a turn . Slippery conditions are deadly on a bike . I always hated being caught out in the rain on my mostly mid sized Motorcycles . My last few were 650ccs which outweighed me , but were maybe half the size of a big Police Harley Davidson .
 I had a 350 in college which was almost a part of me . When it was stolen I mourned for a year . The 650 probably weighed 80 pounds more which is a lot when you suddenly see that someone left a 2x4 in the middle of your curve .  For me , twisting the throttle open in a curve was the fun part and in power to weight ratios a  bike will be way faster than a Corvette , up to a point . It can also stop faster and visibility is simply unsurpassed . A slow cruise thru downtown was a weekly constitutional for me . Its a perfect way to admire architecture . One of those cruises put a four year old girl in my path . She was in the back of a parked pick up truck taking in the stunning big city views . When I rolled up next to her she lit up like I was Santa Claus himself and I woulda given everything I owned to be him for her . She  was just as excited as could be and was delighted that I smiled and waved to her . As is typical I wanted to be her Grandpa . ( In an aside when I was a kid EVERY adult talked to me as a member of their family . There were no Stranger Danger hysterics in effect . Volunteer Grandpa's for a crying child in a park today are viewed as scheming by pedophiles , and their interventions are resented . It is the Child's great loss , and a loss to those like myself who would be pleased to be of service .
I mentioned scrapping my Motorcycle above . Just scrapped my ancient Lexus too , w 250k Miles on it . Had it for 8 years , and it was dependable as hell . At 250 tho , everything felt worn and shakey in the steering , and it was needing a transmission . Had very similar Acura Legends too and one lasted for 400k before wearing out . Honda makes a good product . Both of these cars were 3.0 Liters w 24 valve V-6s . Those breath much better ( double lungs built in ) and are reasonably peppy . ( Also preppy , but that's another story ) .
My latest car , altho ancient , looks and runs great . I expect at least 100k miles from today forward , and maybe more . It was dirt cheap , because it is old . Very low mileage . It was well kept because well , when it was new , it was a $49,000 sedan . Someone changed the oil , and cared about this car . I got lucky finding it for next to nothing .  I love old luxury cars . Someone needs too .
This ' new ' car of mine ( seen above ) has 32 valves , 4.5 liters , and a V8  that brings pure acceleration unseen since I lost my motorcycles , and Detroit quit making the Muscle cars of 1969 . This morning I punched it thru a corner and was pushed back into my seat by  almost 300 Horsepower ( and Rear Wheel Dive ! ) . If you drive an eco-mobile you have 98 , maybe 134  horsepower  in a 1.8 Liter 4 cylinder and My motor will kick sand in your headlights and steal your girlfriend . Just warning you . Do not fuck w me in traffic . I have a bigger motor than you do and I am not afraid to use it . I hope it really does run , ad infinitum like an Infinity should .

BTW Infiniti is a fancy Nissan  ( its their version of a BMW 700  series just as that Lexus is a plush Toyota Camry that weighs 500 lbs more and has a bigger motor .  Same Chasis tho . The Acura Legend is a Honda Accord after steroids . I liked all three of them altho my little stick shift 4 cylinder Honda CRX  was more fun to drive  . It was a 5 speed that would give you 78 mph in 2nd gear if you were pushing it .  I usually was . Now I drive like an old man usually . I wonder how that happened .

Friday, October 17, 2014

A Czar is Born , part 18

You guys have probably heard that new Czardom is in our future . Ron Klain  .The young fellow who funded Solyndra has been chosen as the Ebolaczar . He is a lawyer and was chief of staff for Biden and the Gorical too . He probably got that job after the 2000 election where he was a top apparatchik in the Florida  recounts .  You may recall our Supreme Court slapped down Florida's Democrat legislature who wanted to steal the elelction for Gore . Klain was probably fighting that fight for the , ahem , losers  .
His other claim to fame is heavy involvement w the ' stimulus ' . That boondoggle distributed graft at record rates and regulars will remember our complaint that Blue States got nice big slices of Blueberry Pie , while Red States made doo w Cow .
The twitteratae had some fun naming better choices for ebola czar  than ' Dr ' Klain ( he has a JD ) .
First came Dr Smith
then Dr Phil ( not a real Doctor )
naturally Doctor J ( Julius Irving )
Dr Scholl of shoe insert fame
Dr Ruth

....and our favorite ,  Dr Pepper . You will never guess who will get the job after Klain . He is a a walking HCR metaphor and liable to follow the Hippocratic oath to first , do no harm . The perfect government employee . ' Dr Doolittle ' .
PDUS had another fellow in mind , but Erkel would hire every single applicant above before giving him a thought . We will be thinking of him a lot in 2016 . Especially if we are dealing w a plague .